Days like the Valentine's Day, Anniversaries and Birthdays brings out the worst in me. Somehow since the time I got married I always wondered when I was going to get my first diamond from my husband. Infact, nothing he got me or did for me seemed good enough because I always waited for the Rock. The rock which he claimed is 'being dug'. Kishore has always bought me a lot of jewllery, but never a diamond. Infact there was this one time we even went past all the diamond jewellery stores and then he took me into this book store and got me a weight loss book on a valentines day. I remember bringing the book home and as we entered the house, i flung the book across the house and threw a big fit because I wanted a diamond and he got me a book.
A few months back I was having this causal talk with my Boss and friend, and the topic of diamonds came up after I complimented her ring. I told her how awful Kishore has been and not given me one. She said, even if diamonds are a girl's best friend, rocks cannot give you a hug at the end of the day and I joked to her that that the next time she fought with her 'best friend' I am willing to hug them.
This year, a week before V-day, the discussion again came up with Kishore and I understood that he had no plans of getting me one this time too. I just gave up and told him that I will never ever want one in my life and that its really not fair that despite knowing what I want for all these years, he hasn't bothered to get it for me. I accused him that he was so insensitive to my wishes. He obviously had no clue about it and told he would get me one, but I said I couldn't care less about what he wants to do about it. The issue died a silent death.
On Feb 14, 2012, I was working from home that day. I had a mild back spasm which aggravated slowly through the day and though I was mobile, I was in pain. Kishore called me from work to check on what my plans are for the evening and I said, I just want to take a long walk with you. Around 3PM I was on a call with my boss and just as it ended, I decided to lie down a little to stretch my back. Next thing I new my back had frozen. It was so bad that I could not even turn sides. I was not able to pull myself up. I spent 3 hours on the bed, just trying to move myself atleast by an inch. I called Kishore and told him the situation as I had locked myself from inside the room to avoid disturbance by my daughter while I was talking to my boss. Now I was locked in and no one could come in to help me up too. I knew that one one way was for Kishore to break open the door.
By about 6 PM I somehow tried to turn myself and slipped from bed down to the floor and crawled in an awkward way to the door, all the while feeling like I was stabbed on my back, held the door knob and pulled myself up and unlocked the door and crashed again on the floor like there was no life in me. Kishore then came in, helped me onto the bed and knew that I needed medical help. He called the doc, helped me with some immediate excercises to ease my pain and went and made coffee and came and sat beside me. The next question was how do I drink hot coffee lying on the bed. He tried to help me sit up and as he reached for the coffee, my body just fell down like it had no life. This really shocked me and I know it shook him too, but he wouldn't let it show. He still tried helping me sit up again and fed me the coffee. He then lay down beside me, and stroking my back as silent, unstoppable tears just flowed from my eyes.
My daughter Aaliyah was up now from her afternoon nap and standing beside me at my bed and asking me why I was crying. My pillow was wet from my tears and I had no idea, when I would ever sit up, who would care for my daughter and my husband.
Kishore quickly left to buy the medicines and when he got back, he had a gift for me. It was a book. Yes. I was not angry this time and it was this book called 'P.S I Love you'. I opened the book and the message read, 'Just remember the diamond gets bigger as you dig deeper'. He came and lay beside me and we started talking. I will never forget that conversation with Kishore. The wonderful words of assurance and the hug.
My boss was wrong, my Rock did give me a hug. All these years my diamond was right there. Just that I did not look at it. I will cherish this moment for ever and ever.
